Self-Realizations

I started dating again, kind of. It happened and as time went on, I realized that one of the guys just wasn't for me. He was super nice and sweet, almost everything I wanted. Almost. His love for music and movies weren't the same as mine. His attitude towards life wasn't that positive. Sigh. When it all came down to it, I knew I wasn't going to 'settle' for just anyone.

The second one I started dated has been along on this crazy ride of mine since last summer. He was patient and kind, never pushy. We finally started going out together more and more. He even introduced me to his people. I was flattered. That's kind of a big deal. Well, just when I thought things were going well, he decided to drink and drive.  I didn't approve and expressed my concerns and I was upset. That was the end of that. Ha ha ha !  He made the choice for me and it was easy. I don't want that in my life. I've always been in a relationship where there was some sort of addiction. Whether it was illegal substances, alcohol or prescription medication, it's always been there. Not again.

My self realization is that I truly need to love myself more than anyone else. I need to find who I am and what I truly want. If I can't do that, I will always be unhappy and miserable with whoever I am with at the time. I want true love and a future I can count on and create. All of my past relationships are just stepping stones to something greater.  Whether I'm alone forever or find that perfect someone, my happiness is key!

I love hard and want to be loved just as much.